Dream On
by Trial of Ash
Summary: This will be another collection of drabbles for Kuro x Fay...what else? Same as my previous one-shot collection, they will come in 10 chapters each.
1. Chapter 1

**Author's notes:**

This is a side drabble from the storyline of my existing fic, The Continuality of Existence. I'm only playing around here…

**Dream On**

Kurogane slapped himself hard, literally. He has got to get himself under control because fantasizing in broad daylight in front of his client about a man is simply not conducive to work. He was so losing it and where the hell did those images come from? He was sure he hadn't seen the blonde that naked before. He sighed and pushed his brain into the direction of work again…it only lasted a few minutes before silky blonde hair appeared in his vision once more.

His client droned on regarding the agreement they were supposed to prepare and Kurogane started wondering how did fantasies become so real? His eyes followed the figure with azure eyes and golden blonde hair before he realizes he really was looking at Fay. He blinked hard a couple of times and excused himself from his still babbling client.

He sauntered across the café, preparing a greeting in his mind when he saw another figure close behind Fay. Someone that he despised so utterly and he wonders what the hell was he doing standing so close to his blonde.

'_Your blonde? Since when did he become yours?' _his inner voice mocked at him. He growled inwardly, pushing the voice back to the deep recesses of his mind where it belongs and moved forward again to the cashier where Ashura was valiantly trying to pay for Fay's lunch.

"Hi!" He greeted both man a little too loudly.

Fay looked up at him, obviously surprised to see him here. Ashura barely turned in his direction to acknowledge him. Not that he cares of course, he thinks as his fingers itched to clench themselves into fists.

"Kuro-san…what are doing here?" Fay asked, wondering if it was a repeat of what happened last week when he mentioned he was going out with Ashura, and than discovered Kurogane stalking them every step of the way. He had kept quiet of course, just to save the man's pride.

"I…I was having a meeting with one of my clients."

"Really? Where is he?" Fay asked, hoping that he sounded casual enough.

"There…" Kurogane replied, pointing in the general direction of the chubby suited man seated in the plushy armchair, sipping his coffee.

Fay raised his brows a little still skeptical.

"I see. Are you going back to the office later?' Fay asked again.

"No…in fact, my meeting has just ended. Maybe I can bring you home." Kurogane tried, feeling a little desperate to get Fay away from Ashura. He was sure that man wanted to be more than friends with the gullible blonde. Any idiot can see from the dirty looks he gave Fay. How could Fay be so ignorant of his intentions?

"I drove here too today…and our day hasn't ended yet. We are going to the movies later." Ashura announced regally from behind Fay.

Kurogane's brows twitched. What the #& does he think he's doing? Acting as if Fay was on a date with him!

"It's fine, I'm sure Fay wouldn't want to trouble you any further today." Kurogane said as he grabbed Fay's hand and started pulling him out of the café.

"Kuro-san! What are you doing?"

"I'm getting you away from him…can't you see what he wants with you?" Kurogane explained feeling a bit exasperated.

Fay blinked as realization dawned upon him…he stifled a giggle that threaten to burst out of him.

"Kuro-san…it's not what you think." Fay said and ground his feet onto the pavement, stopping Kurogane's forceful steps.

Kurogane stood there, under the hot afternoon sun sweating slightly from the stifling heat.

"What do you mean?' he asked stupidly.

"Incase you were wondering and worried…I know what he wants a long time ago and I've just told him no."

"No?" Kurogane repeated after Fay, still not grasping what was going on.

"I told him that I'm not interested and that he can go dream on…because I already have someone else I like."

"You have someone you like?" Kurogane repeated again, the gears in his head refusing to move at all.

"Yes…"

"Who…?"

"Well…he is a very cool person although he can be a little dense sometimes…"

"It's a HE?" Kurogane asked near frantic by now. How could Fay like someone else and another guy to top it off?

"Yes." Fay answered as he looked on at Kurogane bemused "It's funny though…I've lived with him for such a long time and he can't even tell how I feel towards him." Fay continued nonchalantly, waiting for his words to sink in.

Kurogane grind the words over and over in his head…living with…long time…woah…isn't that…himself?

Fay watched as understanding started to dawn in those warm crimson eyes and smiled at the man still trying to get his brain to function. He stepped forward and tip-toed, leaning himself against Kurogane's body bringing his mouth barely millimeters from the red eye man's ear.

"You know…there's no one but you…everyone else can dream on." Fay whispered and ended with a chaste peck on Kurogane's cheek, watching the man sputtered and blush.

He turned around and left when he saw the chubby suited man exiting the café, throwing strange looks at them. Obviously, he had witnessed the exchange between the two men.

"Bye Kuro-san." Fay raised his voice to call out as he rounded the corner of the street, leaving Kurogane to end off to his chubby suited client and get his mind back on track.

End

Sorry, this was a pretty meaningless piece of because I am sort of bored out of my mind at the moment.


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's notes: **

This is a short collection of drabbles...introspective stuff...I think. It's hard to try living in these two characters' mind because they are so complex. That's what made me fall in love with them too. The process of dismantling their psyche piece by piece leads you to fall in love with them.

Well, I hope you guys like this piece. Do leave a review if you agree with my perspective!

**Unsolved Equation**

I watched the ripples quietly lapping along the shore of the lake and the pending darkness of night trailing leisurely after the golden sunset. Sitting alone on the pier with wondering thoughts, I feel your gaze upon me as you bring to life the portrait on your canvas. Each brush stroke conveys the emotions playing on my face masterfully; you know by heart what each smile and look meant. I am your perfect muse...you once said. That was a long time ago. Do you still think I am perfect now that the ravages of time have manifested itself?

ooOoOoo

Throughout the seasons past, he has been the only constant in his life. His love and devotion is a steady influx of strength for him, withstanding through the test of time. Even though he is tired of fighting himself, he still tries to deny it sometimes, hating the fact that he is now so completely reliant on the red eye man. So when he starts feeling lost and unhinged, he tries to seek the calm within himself...just like how Kurogane does. He calls it meditating.

ooOoOoo

For everyone, there is somebody out there to make things wrong or right. You search for that rare fit, for that perfect body to meld together with yours. You search for that perfect someone to share your life with. It seemed so impossible from the start. I thought I might just die when I found mine...He pushes everyone away, including himself. He doesn't allow any rest for his worn out soul. I wondered if he realizes what he was doing. Curious, I started picking at him...forcing the gaps between his cracks apart, leaving them too wide for him to hide. I think he went insane for sometime from the immense frustrations due to my intense prodding. But I was too stubborn, filled with determination and will to get under his skin. I ignored his gradually shattering persona...

ooOoOoo

He was on the precipice of falling over the cliff in his mind. Kurogane just keeps pushing. Doesn't he see the signs? He's breaking down. His last vestiges of iron clad restrains smashed and he's being pulled into the land of living. He has no choice but to look for another alternative outlook towards his life. He realized it was futile to fight the red eye man; therefore, he gave up his control. Like a puppet, he let Kurogane direct and moved him. Of course...he should have known. How could Kurogane be satisfied with just that? He broke the glass doll and replaced it with a wooden one...yet he's greedy...like Pinocchio, he wants him to come alive!

ooOoOoo

He yearns for his smoldering fire to stoke the flames that the blonde hid within. He wants to see him burst into life and burn with his own flames. So, instead of trying to crush his mask into smithereens, he tried scorching the blonde. His heat was not something anyone can escape from.

ooOoOoo

Fay couldn't find his shields anywhere...anymore, he has no more energy to pull up his defenses. He couldn't protect himself against Kurogane's stinging truths and sharp doses of reality. He couldn't resist that persistence or the love that the red eye man so desperately wants him to have. He also sees how the man was destroying himself over it. He guessed he should accept his fate, but, he feels angry too. He don't understand how Kurogane failed to see that he is a destructive force of nature, anyone or anything in his path will be decimated.

Somehow, Kurogane was not the one he wants to see left in pieces and unamendable.

The End?


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's notes:**

Just a little scene that popped up in my head all of a sudden, I wanted to write smut originally but somehow the angst queen that resides in my head always manages to take over.

**Without Words**

He pulled the blonde within his arms easily, the rain made his skin sleek and he could feel the warmth seeping away. He held him by his waist and pressed the slender lean body close, feeling his shoulder blades jutting against him. He nuzzled his nose into drenched hair, now a darker shade of gold due to the water soaking it.

"Kuro..." Fay murmured as his hands wrapped around well defined forearms. He tilted his head backwards and gazed at the red eye man with glazed azure eyes "let go."

"And where will you disappear off to again?"

Fay kept quiet, his silence a deafening roar in Kurogane's ears drowning out the soft pattering of the rain.

Kurogane doesn't want to let go. He missed him so much.

Fay sighed and wondered why he bothers making resolutions when he never keeps them? He thinks he should end the whole charade just to save himself from becoming the biggest fool in the history of mankind. He could escape every time but never for long. Within months, he would be undeniable be back again. He wonders how long he is going to keep up this game of hide and seek.

"I'm not going anywhere...Kuro." Fay answered.

_'Not for the moment...I'm tired too'_

"Than come back with me..." Kurogane said as he hugged the blonde tighter within his arms "come home to me..." he continued, whispering the last few words into the blonde's ear.

Fay's heart twisted painfully in his chest, the feeling of being rolled about in a crate in the middle of the ocean and the fear came back again. He wonders if he keeps escaping this way, will Kurogane still be waiting. He wonders if Kurogane will still love him when his beauty has been stripped from him. He wonders if he will end up lonely, choking on his tears and falling sky which was his hope.

Maybe he wonders too much.

Kurogane knows he will run but he will follow, without regrets. His heart was sick of being chained by his love for the blonde, yet, his warped sense of determination pushes him on. No matter how many times he had been kicked like a dog on a dirty street, he always gathers his suffering shoves it down his throat and stand up again. It was the only thing he knows how to do now.

Fay turned back to face Kurogane, his hands traveling up to those broad shoulders before diving into wet black hair. He leaned forward until his forehead rests against Kurogane's collarbone.

"Why do you do this?" he asked with a broken voice.

"Don't you already know?" Kurogane replied as he gently grasped Fay's chin and lift his face. He wanted to see the emotions in those tumultuous blue eyes...he wanted to know exactly how Fay feels because he never puts his emotions into words.

What he saw took his breathe away.

What Fay can never say, he can never hide.


	4. Chapter 4

**Author's notes: **

Ok...this is getting ridiculous! How could anyone experience a smut block! Will someone kindly tell me that it is impossible! Arrgghhh!!!! I just wanna write smut! How come it's not happening!!!!!!!!!

This is what happens when I'm brain dead...

**Say **

How many mistakes could one make in a day, much less in a life time? One could sit and dwell on the 'what ifs?' and 'what's not'...but nothing could refute the facts that happened. There was nothing one could do to turn back the fateful hands on the clock.

He watched the morning rays shine through the gauzy material of the snow white curtains. He was gone only for a day yet, it felt like a life time to him. Everything was taken from him within a day. He watched the man he loved walked away and couldn't muster the courage to say a single word.

Was it so hard to just say those three simple words? Just three words that could save them a lifetime of heartache and regrets, it might be too late now.

He glanced at the clock and wondered when his flight will land. He worries that life would still be hard for him. He wonders if he would find joy or even love again on that foreign land.

No matter how many miles of ocean or continents separate them, they were only a phone call apart. The simple gesture of picking up the phone was paramount to the setting of the stage for the rest of their lives.

ooOoOoo

He threw himself on the fluffy king size bed and sigh deeply. He really was pissed with that stupid man! He made the biggest gamble in his life and till now the feeling of defeat has still not sunk in.

What was he to do now? Pretend to disappear for a couple of months before he flies back and hopefully the red eye man still remembers him? Call him now to apologize and that he was just fucking with his brains? Fly back immediately like the coward he is?

He growled and hurled the nearest pillow he could grab towards the door, listening with satisfaction as the flimsy vase beside the counter fall. He would have to pay for it. Doesn't matter though, he was sure the red eye man's many credit cards still work. That dumb hulk of muscles wouldn't have the sense to check if they were missing from his wallet or anything at this point of time.

Well...there wasn't much he could do now. Since he was here, he might as well enjoy what this beautiful country had to offer. Afterall, it wasn't everyday one could be in Venice.

ooOoOoo

Kurogane paced the span of the living room for the umpteenth time, he was livid! How dare that stupid blonde pulled such a stunt on him! He was taking everything so seriously and had even contemplated going after the freaking blonde!

That was until he discovered that more than half of his credit cards were missing from his wallet. No problem, if the blonde wants to play...he will gladly play along!

ooOoOoo

Fay pouted as he flung himself on the couch. He has a sinking feeling that Kurogane had seen through his flimsy ruse. The credit cards have been cut off and he received an aggravating text message from the man himself asking if he was having fun. He also had the audacity to ask him to give him a call when he was out of cash!

How could he ever believe that stupid ass loves him!

Fine! If he wants to remain and stand firm in his stand...so could he!

ooOoOoo

Kurogane couldn't believe he was doing this! But he guess he had to relent sooner or later...he admitted grudgingly that life without the blonde was extremely boring. Not to mention...he misses him terribly too. He fixed his tie and dusted off imaginary flecks of dirt on his shoulders and he stood infront of the door for a long while not knowing what to do next.

Finally he mustered up the courage and raised his fingers to knock on the door but before he could make contact, the door flew open.

"Kuro-san! What are you doing here?" Fay asked with rapidly blinking eyes before pinching himself in the cheeks "ok...that hurts so you are real!" Fay exclaimed as he jumped and gave Kurogane a bear hug.

"Of course I'm real...what do you think I am? A hallucination of your overly drugged state of mind?"

"Kuro-san, you should stop trying to be mean to me. I'm sure you missed me a lot that's why you're here right now."

"Don't over estimate your own worth." Kurogane stated flatly and immediately regretted what he said as Fay's face was covered with a dark look and he was starting to close the door "hey...! I was only kidding. Ok...I did miss you a lot."

"And?"

Kurogane sigh because he knows the blonde won't let him get away with this...

"and I want you to come back with me...please...."

"That's it?"

"Look...if I came that far...doesn't it already show how I feel towards you?"

Fay tapped his feet, folded his arms and glared at his dense and extremely stubborn boyfriend.

"Phew...ok..."

"..."

"I...I..."

Fay reached for the door knob and made to close the door.

"Iluvyou!" Kurogane blurted out.

Fay's eyes widen his heart speeded up as if he has consumed way too much candy. His smile stretched across the length of his face.

"Say it again."

Kurogane stared incredulously at the blonde.

"I'm sure you heard well enough the first time." Kurogane said sternly as he moved forward and captured the slender man in a tight embrace, shocking the blonde again "now it's my turn to mate out the punishment." Kurogane continued with an evil glint in his eye.

"Ku...Kuro-san?"

Fay sputtered as he was lifted off his feet and carried into the room bridal style.

ooOoOoo

Fay nuzzled closer to the red eye man. He thinks he should try disappearing more often if this is the response he is going to receive. They spent the whole day making glorious love and he had never felt more sated in his life. What made him the happiest was that Kurogane even took leave to spend a week in Venice with him!

"Kuro?"

"Humm?" the red eye man answered lazily as a muscular arm went round to caress the blonde's hip-bone languidly.

"Say it again..." Fay requested with imploring eyes. He doubts he would never get tired of hearing those three words coming from Kurogane's lips.


	5. Chapter 5

**Author's notes:**

Another side drabble for my existing fiction: The Continuality of Existence.

**Sometimes**

Like the winter white that covers the earth, his heart was an intricate map of invisible scars. One could brush the snow away from its surface but the cold will always exist.

It was an unwritten rule of his life. His heart was not to be trespass by any, to remain frozen. He wasn't sure if he is still alive that is…every day was monotonous, everyday was an endless repetitive of life's pointless struggle to survive.

But he thinks this might be safer.

He doesn't need the spark; he doesn't need to feel the fire. He doesn't need anyone to live for or to depend on. He wasn't lonely because he had chosen solitude. He doesn't feel unloved because he has never needed love.

Yet sometimes…just sometimes…the intense gaze of the red eye man fills him with doubt.

He doesn't understand what that feeling is but it sears into his soul every time he connected with those fiery crimson orbs.

Isn't it the best not to be attached to anything because everything fades, so is he getting too attached to apathy instead?

Sometimes, he wanted to dive into the mesmerizing swirl and lose himself in it. Sometimes, he managed to get curious enough to want to know what it is all about.

Stop.

He would tell himself.

Sometimes one has to realize certain things are just out of your reach.


	6. Chapter 7

**Disquiet**

Some ask what does one live for…for hope, for love or simply for the sake of living? Was the desire for the pomp of life necessary and should he be inflamed with passion in order to live a meaningful one? He has not found the answers to those questions. His whole life seemed to be a disconnected dance where the dots never connect and nothing ever makes sense. There was no repose to be found…nothing. The tedium of feeling tired and empty was getting hard to bear, when one wakes up knowing that one would feel the same today, yesterday and the day to come.

He feels time slithering beneath his alabaster skin, unseen…invisible and he could feel his body unfurl and curls onto itself and fill with something akin to dread, like the dark night that approaches beckoning his weak faithless soul, guiding him with a deathly song to what or where he does not know, neither was he bothered enough to know. He would sit alone lucid and sad forgetting time, walling himself in a world of isolation that he had built. He ceased to hear the exterior sounds of life and the landscapes beyond his glass bubble, existing in the waking hours suspended like a character about to be written but since it was yet to be penned, he remains without life, without voice and without a story to come alive for. It was only at night when he dreams that he could find the tranquility and intimate bond with life.

It was only tragic that he wakes to not remember what was dreamt.

But Fate was a kind soul and she wouldn't leave one so alienated to be forever abandoned to a lonely existence. If he was destined to last an ephemeral moment, she wants him to experience felicity and the intensity of the fireworks of love. So she conspired with Chance and chose another soul who was also in need of getting acquainted with the luxurious ceremonies of life. This red eye boy who has lost just as much yet an undying cinder lay within his soul, waiting for the right moment to combust when destinies collides.

oOooOo

The red eye boy wondered why the blonde constantly lingers around the fringes of his sight, like a ghostly shadow, leaving him no way of ascertaining his presence. Day after day, he sees him and he wonders why they keep crossing each other's path. He asked around one day and found that the boy was in fact only in the class next to his, and somehow without the validity of a reason, he sought the boy out in the river of faces just to study the whispering expressions of his wavering moods and to admire those eyes that reminded him of the bejeweled ocean.

There's something mesmerizing about the habits of the boy and that knowledge held him hostage. He was just as mysterious as the night and one could spend an infinite eternity unveiling his form to reach his core, yet one can never grasped the secrets to it but try he will to the edge of his grave, even if he was to remain still ignorant, still adrift in the end. Soon in time a desire bloomed within him plebeian and carnal in its lustful cravings, leaving him scrambling in an attempt to understand and gain mastery over this unreasonable ardor, which had developed without his knowing.

One day, absurdities of absurdities, they were held together in detention for something that they had not lifted a finger to do.

And that meeting brought a smile to Fate and Chance.


	7. Chapter 8

**Author's notes: **

This is inspired by 'A Beautiful Lie' – 30 Seconds to Mars and 'Never Too Late' – Three Days Grace (I saw a video that a KuroFay fan made, and I just love how the lyrics fits with their relationship). I apologize for the 'OCC-ness' of the characters, I just have a very bad habit of not writing them in character and I know it is a huge turn off for certain readers who are loyal to the series.

_I'm drunk in my drunkenness, yet, not drunk at all._

_(shi zui…ru zui…fei zui)_

_-Cattyfuzzy_

**The Lies That We Say**

Kurogane stared at the laughing mage seated opposite him; the teasing lilt of his tinkling laughter was a painful reminder of how close he had come to losing the blonde. The battle was an exhaustive and perilous one. They barely won Fei Wang by a hair's breadth. It was also the first time that Kurogane saw Fai fought seriously…and saw how beautifully lethal the mage can be. There was also a fire he had never seen before. He wondered how each of their tales will end now that the final chains are severed.

They were free in every right to pursue another dream and he wanted to continue pursuing what he has yet to capture.

The mage feeling his gaze glanced in his way with a faltering smile. Fai was still uncomfortable with acknowledging the feelings that the swordsman has for him, not being able to sort out his own emotions only adds to the problem. Kurogane looked away immediately when their eyes met, merging into the conversation with Sakura and Syaoran smoothly, avoiding the awkwardness of that moment. They went through dinner the rest of the night making a strained effort to avoid looking at each other again.

***************************************

Kurogane sat down at the edge of the couch and waited patiently for the blissful drowsiness of sleep to overcome him, he didn't think he could restrain himself very well with the mage laying on the same bed beside him. He wonders why he doesn't ever argue against such arrangements when it is obviously taking a toll on his body. When he finally could hold sleep off no longer, he shed his heavy cloak and climbed gingerly onto bed.

"Kurogane…" Fai whispered

Kurogane froze in mid-action as he felt the mage shift nearer to him, the delicious warmth stirring him into wakefulness.

"I thought you were asleep." He replied softly.

"Why do you always look at me the way you do?" the mellow voice whispered the question, a loud echo in the quiet darkness of the room.

"Wouldn't you have already known?"

"You confuse me Kuro-san."

"Doesn't everything else?"

Fai opened his eyes and stared at the dark silhouette of the swordsman, it was unlikely that he would ever get a straight answer from him.

It is amusing how the evasive one is now the one being evaded.

Sometimes, sleep is the best distraction.

**************************************

Kurogane woke up only to stare into sapphire ones and in the morning light, their soft sparkle so resembles a light blue flame wavering in the transparent colored rays of the sun. He studied them in the soft morning light, noting the light grey speckles that were embedded between crystal blue and the smile in those eyes. The soft pink of those lips so close to him was toxicating to his sleep-addled mind. What he felt towards the blonde was an itch he does not dare to sooth.

"What is it, you idiot? Stop staring at me so early in the morning…"

"Nothing. It's just that you look so different when you're asleep." The mage replied with an enigmatic smile as he withdrew and got off the bed heading towards the bathroom.

Kurogane adjusted his position on the bed and turned towards the window, avoiding the sight of the blonde divesting himself in the bathroom.

Pale smooth skin, so soft and luminous in the gentle morning rays of the sun…

**************************************

The lighthearted and carefree laughter of Syaoran and Sakura pulls both men away from their task at hand. They looked up at each other and smiled. They have not heard that kind of laughter for a long while. The red eye swordsman's expression tugged at the mage's heartstrings…how many times had he caught the man looking at him with that look? Does his own eyes reflect the same longing and desire?

"Kuro-sama…"Fai called out, his voice a bare whisper.

"Hn?"

"Is the end really ahead of us?" Fai asked softly.

Kurogane gazed at the mage's bright sapphire eyes and took a deep breath before turning towards the setting sun. How many more sunsets can he share with the blue eye mage? Already Kurogane could feel the reluctance that pulls at his heart as he watches the approaching darkness that heralds the end of another day.

He didn't answer.

He fears the admittance that would bond himself to the mage, he couldn't face the betrayal he would make to his princess and homeland should he give in to his heart. But everything is ripping him apart; each sacrifice that was made and reversed has left an imprint on his soul though nothing would be seen on his superficial shell. They were no longer bonded by blood. The victory against Fei Wang has assured that.

Kurogane turned back to look at the mage again with his trademark grin, some false bravado and cheer.

"Are you missing me already, mage?"

The disappointment that lugged at Fai's heart was impossible to describe.

They will keep running away from the truth and each other forever, if that's what they could do.


	8. Chapter 9

**These drabbles/short paragraphs are written irrespective of the manga's official timeline, or, plot development.**

Affinity – Fai's affinity with Kurogane was not foretold by Yuuko's cryptic teasing when they first met in her backyard. It was prophesized in his dreams, when the ghostly warmth radiating from an armor clad silhouette drifted across his skin as he lies on his ice cold bed, night after lonely night.

Adjure – A statement of fact rules his life. He knows that his loyalties cannot be divided. But his heart was a different issue. It does not fall under the rigid oath of a warrior. While his loyalty had him chained permanently to Nihon and his princess, his heart was free to escape. He charted its journey through stormy oceans and dessert lands that stretches into the horizon to Japan…to his heart's rightful home…where Fai is now situated at.

Bothered – Kurogane forced himself to sit still as Fai drew up from behind, leaning carelessly on his back, humming along tunelessly to some childhood lullaby. He does not want to admit that the tingle streaking down his spine meant anything other than the uneasiness he feels when some stranger got to close for comfort.

Because – There were a lot of reasons derived from sensibilities that warned them that they should just keep out of each other's way, but, they couldn't help stepping on each other's toes. There were a lot of reasons derived from experience that told them that if they fall, they would be in for the long haul and they were in no condition for *L.T.R, but, they couldn't stop their desires from overwhelming them and giving in. There were a lot of reasons that they should have stayed apart, so many in fact, that fate must be insane for letting the two meet and becoming the most important person of each other's life. Yet, it is precisely due to all those reasons that made Yuuko want to fight for them, against what has already been written in the book of fate.

Calescence – For each time they shared a gaze, they felt the heat coiling in between them burning through the barrier of secrets they held up as a form of defense from each other. They knew one day that dam of tension will burst, but for now, they will hold it at bay. The importance of locating the princess's soul overrides the immediate need to deal with the unnamed emotions churning within their restless hearts.

Catalyst – He supposed that his current situation would be caused by the months of repressed sexual tension while he was stuck with the kids, and that infuriatingly attractive blonde, but he had never thought he would be doing it with the general of this strange army. Ashura's personality and body traits were a far cry from Fai's, and the temporary release he had sought after did nothing to sate the need for another type of warmth.

Dagoba – Fai was admiring the relics carved onto the walls of the shrine, and the tarnished gold statue that sits in the middle of the great dome. From behind him, a steady chanting could still be heard. It might be an understatement if he were to mention how pleasantly surprised he was to learn that the rowdy swordsman actually knew how to meditate by praying. It also made him feel slightly lost and cheerless because he never had a religion, or known what having one was like in the first place.

Dainty – Kurogane knows that Fai was not some dainty damsel in distress. But when the blood started flowing, he knew he will never stop hating himself for letting it happened. So, he couldn't help from feeling affronted when his hand was slapped unceremoniously away as he reached across the counter for Fai's slender hand. Well…even a paper cut could get infectious…

Ensconced – The fabric smelled of sweat layered with the lingering stale metallic stench of blood. He pulled it closer and tighter around his trembling shoulders and, underneath it all, he caught a whiff of that leathery and woody scent he misses the most.

Emerged – The folds of his heart was being pulled apart ruthlessly. He felt it being ripped to shreds by strong callous fingers. Despite the pain, he strained against it and made himself savor it, to remember this is what heartbreak feels like, and that he must never allow himself to go through this hell again. So he created another a replacement wrought from the pain he suffered, and when the flesh, tissues and nerves were depleted, a new pulse emerged. He made sure this new heart remembers not the fallible destruction of frail emotions, but only the hardness of diamonds and the embers of a dying fire. So when he met the red-eye swordsman, he felt that his world was upended when he feels the first crack surfacing.

Fabulate – He never learnt to differentiate the truths from the fibs in the stories that Fai told them. If he knew better, he should have been able to tell that they all were made up. So he found himself as enraptured as Sakura and Syaoran, everytime, when Fai starts rendering on some fantasy he had improvised while on their brief reprieves from their perilous journey.

Flexuous – Kurogane turned as he tightens the grip on the hilt of his sword. He bit the inside of his cheek hard enough to draw blood as the confines of his pants got distinctly tighter. The lithe figure infront of him no longer prance around with the sword, which he was gifted with barely three months ago, he now dances instead with practiced precision. The sword is no longer a weapon in Fai's hand, but an extension of his body, and his movements had become a secret language to Kurogane. It had become a code which Kurogane was eager to decipher not only on the training ground, but also in the privacy of their bedchambers.

Gallicize – Fai had asked if he liked his new name, Amaury. So he rolled and swirled the name in his mouth, tasted the vowels on his tongue and tried whispering it. He then accessed the new costume Fai had put on, letting his gaze travel past the gaudy powdered wig, the frilly lace shirts, the ornately embroidered velvet jacket and black tights that left nothing to the imagination, and he decided right there and then that he hated this new look (because really, Fai's perky ass is only for his viewing pleasure). Then he ordered Mokona to get them the freaking out of this strange land, simply because it is too much for him to comprehend why the men here, loves to decorate their manly parts with gems, and why the women here, loves looking like great big hot-air balloons with their bloated and billowy dresses.

Gelid – The glacial wind blows and cuts into their skin, chapping their lips and drying their eyes as they fought against it to place each tiring step ahead of another. He could tell that Syaoran badly needed some shelter and rest, but he refused to think of what the consequences might be should he choose to waste away minutes out here. He refused to think about how the ending might turned out to be, if he left Fai to face Fei Wang alone for another day. He can only think, of how to resist succumbing to this unforgiving element that threatens to bury the road that leads to the icy castle that Fai grew up in.

Hermeneutics – It never fails to amaze him how Fai managed to understand all those ancient scriptures they had come across in their journey, he wonders just how much of a scholar the blonde really is. He knew he could never have the capacity to cultivate that ability to understand, or, to appreciate another world's culture and social forces. That fact, in itself, made him feel insignificant and inferior infront of the blonde. Everyone could see why he will never be good enough for Fai. He was smarter, well loved and stronger ever since he had transformed into a vampire, and Kurogane was…well…he was just Fai's bait…with the complimentary brute strength and gruff temper.

Heterosexuals – He observed how hard Sakura was blushing and how badly Syaoran was stuttering, he doesn't understand why they had to try so hard to express what was already obvious. They weren't just dancing around each other. They were falling over each other clumsily and quite comically as well. It is a world of difference when dealing with expressions of such with the swordsman. They simply let the silence and the intrinsic nuances in between speak for them. They let those small touches shared in secret, as well as those that escape the notice of their companions, affirm what they both felt.

Identity – Vindication, that really was what he thought he had gained after the death of Ashura. Of course, the stupid swordsman didn't really want him vindicated because he just went and did all those crazy ass stuff. Stuff like being an 'E' for the rest of his life, like slicing off his arm to bargain for his escape and like practically giving up everything else just for him, and stuff like that just made the guilt pile up again, not towards his twin brother but towards the swordsman. It confounded Fai and drives him insane because he wants to be himself, without carrying the weight of another's decision and burden on his back. But this is what was owned to the swordsman, the one person who had loved him through the darkness. It is part of what and who he is.

Imperative – He should be questioning his morals and principles, when he realized that the knowledge of hundreds of people dying at this time tomorrow was not as disturbing a thought as it should be compared to the knowledge that Fai's life is just hanging by a thread, and that he might die any minute if they do not seek any medical help. The elders should have realized by now that whatever consensus they arrive at, the attack from Athena is inevitable. Life in this strange land moves slowly and its people think with even slower minds. They are dallying in this big marble hall for nothing when the enemy lines are marching ever closer, and his mind is in a whirl trying to think of a way to get them out of here because whatever this is, it is not their fight.

Jackass – Of all the names that Fai managed to conjure up for him, he hates this one the most, and with passion. For one, he was sure he wasn't a reckless person who likes to perform incredulous ridiculous stunts just so to get attention. Second, he might be a beef cake but he was by no means a stupid one. Thirdly, he is very sure that he looks no where near like a donkey's…hum…behind? The tag was just one whole big insult. He figures he should have an appropriate comeback for this, but being around Fai tends to turn him into Mr. Simpleton of the century.

Jailbait – He figured that blondie should resolutely avoid wearing anything skintight, not that he wasn't enjoying the visual effects, but he is a tad possessive when it comes to his lover. It irks him to no end that wherever the frivolous blonde went, eyes followed, eyes that revealed their owners' indecent intentions just a little too clearly. He had to admit that the too sexy sway of those slim taut hips and the casual but well-timed flip of flaxen strands with flirting gazes worked all too well. He could do nothing right now but hoped that his menacing glare, coupled with the subtle tilt of his sword in the general direction of whoever is looking, serves enough as a deterrent to those watching.

Keepsake – He didn't like the predictable mementos that the red-eye man had secretly purchased for him everytime they land in a new world. He supposed this is how Kurogane wants to remind him of where they had been before when this journey is over and done. Though in his opinion, objects simply become bored to look at in time. Experiences, however, are another thing. He thought they should be more adventurous and try something risqué, or, completely insane instead. Things like mooning the king of some great land as he is giving them a royal farewell before they disappear into the vortex, free flying out of the edge of those strange floating castles, making love in rain storms and misty jungles, join a eating competition of sorts because it somehow gets them free food, or maybe, if he is convincing enough…persuade Kurogane to try a threesome…because…well…the thought of Kuro-sama giving pleasure to that Greek God standing in the far end of the room was turning Fai on tremendously.

Knots – The grip on his shoulder was solid and sure, and the heat that he feels from the length of the swordsman's torso burns him till he feels that blisters might pop out any moment between his shoulder blades. It irritates the hell out of him. He shifts slightly trying to ease the unwelcome pressure off his shoulder, despite that, he could also feel the awkward backward tilt of his body, a reluctant _need_ to be near that heat. This easy betrayal of his body leaves a sour feeling in the pits of his stomach, makes him grind his teeth and leaves him feeling exhausted from the extensive tensing of his muscles. The shallow yet deep breathes that keep hitting the skin right below his ear, distracts him and spreads the heat right to the edge of his cornea. Soon, the words infront of him was blurred out of focus. He decides that he just can't deal with any kind of close contact with the swordsman, and when his own breathing starts getting shallow. He discreetly slides to the most left corner of the table, disguising it with the pretext of reaching for another of those ancient books stacked right at the end.

Laconic – He hates it when Fai gets mad at him, most times, he doesn't realized what he had done in the first place to trigger blondie's displeasure. So when the succinct and terse reply was thrown in his face, he took the words as they were meant to be taken, as seriously as they should be taken, and stomped out of the room. That, of course, really wasn't the reaction Fai was hoping for…

Latitude – There are all sorts of wonders you think you can do when you're walking without weight, feeling like you're actually flying on air. And all the time, he feels a pendulum of insensibilities swinging within his heart. Pure exhilaration. Where his pulse used to beat alone, there's another pulse pumping along his now. One that is steady and which obliterates the red streaks of pain, and tame the clamors of his heart into a mirror lake. It's a knowledge that brings cohesiveness between him and the red-eye swordsman. And, there's also freedom from the constraints of his past.

Memories - People are forever busy getting themselves into things, or, trying to get over them. Their bussing about with life has nothing to do with them right now. Not when he is with Kurogane. The world fades into a white wash when he sees the red-eye man, calms him down and makes him remember nothing but Kurogane. It makes him not care about what he has forgotten, even when there are things that one can never learn to forget.

Mortality – Some people would give their all to live as immortals, but to Fai, he will give all just to age like everyone else. Because he wants to know just how it would feel like to grow old with the person he loves, not of living with fearful anticipation of when will that person be taken away from him.

Official – It isn't the first time they'd been together. All the while, it had only been a game of denial and searing exchanges of heat, and hurried embraces, and explosive orgasms they would lead each other to. It is different now. He knows it immediately when he saw Fai stepped into his room wearing a Furisode. He wasn't sure if he had ever felt more grateful to Tomoyo than at that moment before. He wasn't sure if Fai was wearing it because he likes how it looked on him, or if he really understood what wearing it pertains to. But when Tomoyo leaves the room and Fai walks over to settle on his side, he hadn't bothered questioning any further. The way Fai guided his hand with his own trembling one to the obi, his nervous breathing and the way he had avoided his eyes, had given Kurogane all his answers.

Oddities – White on blue, black to white. His life is like the colors he wears. Contrasting the background he stands in, yet, subdued enough to not be striking. It's his quiet way of telling people the depths of his character. He doesn't like to talk about it and he waits for people to notice. If you don't, you don't and you will remain just someone whom he likes to keep around, albeit at arm's length. But Kurogane doesn't satisfy himself with that. He prefers to dig under his skin and explore what makes up the totality of Fai. It's never enough to just saving each other's life and making sacrifices, that's just what you do for mates on a journey with similar goals. It's has got to be much more with Fai. He wants it to be more, know his every single thought and master the language of his sublime expressions. It's more than pushing the right buttons to rile each other up, or, the friendly banters that acknowledges the frisson between them. He wants to learn the traits of his personality, little habits displayed in the daily grind of life, things more intimate and that only one's lover should know of.

Physical – He decides with conviction that giving in to what his body wants, does not equates to opening up for future sentiments or vulnerable attacks to his heart. _This_, he decides, is only to slake

Return – He slouches and mopes when he is alone in plain view of everyone, managed to make it look as if speech is a tedious and hated chore, and pretends that everything else have faded into a buzz in the background, and time absolutely just drags by in terms of eternity. He _forgets_ to shave and he makes sure that the door to his room are wide open when he sleeps, so that anyone passing by could see the Furisode wrapped tightly around his body right up to his nose, and that the complimentary empty sake bottles he has thrown around are painfully obvious, then he deliberately sleeps right past noon time. He _forgets _about his duties and couldn't care less when Souma comes around into his room to in an attempt to boss him into work, and he doesn't react even when Tomoyo comes in and tells him he's _becoming_ a shambling mess. However, what he does remember to do and, that is the only thing he is concern about, is to keep count of the number of times the moon has set and the sun has risen. He reckons he still has three more days to get himself looking like an _absolute_ mess before Fai returns, and quietly hope that his pathetic attempt might instill enough guilt in blondie to prevent him from ever going for a vacation without him again.

Voice – It's a sick rasping sound, scoured and hoarse from enduring the raw pain of an open wound. Fai refused to register what that sound means, but his eyes were involuntarily glued to what causes it. That broken piece of silver protruding from the left side of the swordsman's waist seemed like a scene pulled out from a bad dream. He knows it's not a lethal wound, but he can't stop that dreadful sinking feeling, can't help from hyperventilating. The jolting possibility that he could lose Kurogane made even his vampire instincts useless. He wasn't even concern that his own life might end right here due to this. He just wants Tomoyo to heal him. Now. He reaches and pitched forward when the pressure of his emotions got too much, hands grasping on to the hem of Kurogane's blood soaked cloak. He wanted to say something, anything but he was mute with terror, and Kurogane still feels warm under his fingertips, but already, he's looking very much like a corpse. So when a whisper finally comes through, pushing a feeble assurance out of those deathly pale lips, it was all he could do to hold back the sobs of relief.


End file.
